Power Tactics That Harm

            I was in a relationship once where I gave all of my power away.  He was a master at mind games that included guilt trips and he would confuse me in ways that I ended up feeling like I was the crazy one.  He kept me isolated from my friends and family and criticized me so often that I went from being a powerful women to someone with no self worth.  He would build me up only to take me down in his next breath.  I have no idea how this even happened.  I had always been a confident female with many friends.  He somehow got passed all of that and destroyed me.  I was with him for 3 years.  I supported us while he spent his days having fun and probably sleeping with other women.

            I had several friends and family members try to save me.  I ended up pushing them away and defending him.  I didn’t want to see what I had allowed to happen to me.  I finally ended it after meeting a lady, who is still one of my best friends today, who hung out with me and my partner for only a few hours.  We went to the bathroom of the bar and she looked at me and said, “What are you doing with this guy?”  I don’t know why I heard her and not all of my other friends and family, but this is just how it worked out.  I ended it with him that night.  It was very hard to do, but I did it.  It took a long time to build back my self confidence and remember my worth.  I am grateful for this horrible learning experience and if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change a thing.  That experience helped to make who I am today.  I am now a very strong, independent, successful woman, who has a wonderful husband that is everything the former man was not!

http://speakoutloud.net/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/tactics-power-and-control.pdf

In The Workplace

          Appropriate self-disclosure at work and how to deal with passive-aggressive co-workers

 

         This can be a tricky situation.  I think that it is good to get to know the people you work with and to let them know a little about you.  It helps to build trusting relationships, but you really have to know when enough is enough.  I do not disclose everything about me, just enough to build a trusting relationship with my co-workers.  They would know that I am married.  They would hear a lot about my fabulous dog and maybe about some of the adventures we go on.  But I would not disclose anything more personal than that. 

            I tend to just not care about gossip and try to ignore it as much as possible and stay out of it.  If someone is acting in a passive-aggressive manner to me, I usually just call them out on it.  I have not had much trouble with this with my co-workers, but have had some issues with passive-aggressive boss’.  I try to just go to work to do my job and I really try to not get involved with gossip or hanging with co-workers outside of work.  

PHOTOS: Nine Awesomely Passive-Aggressive Notes from Seattle

http://soar.wichita.edu/dspace/bitstream/handle/10057/1162/t07035.pdf?sequence=1